iPut the lewd in Lewbert
by baronvonmilo
Summary: Here's a one shot that takes place during iSaved your life. Carly and Freddie find out a disturbing secret about Lewbert
1. Chapter 1

Greetings Friends here is a little story that takes place during iSaved your life. Not only do you get a little Creddie here, we will reveal Lewberts secret.

I hope you enjoy

**A/N **I do not own or have the rights to iCarly but I am working on getting the rights to _"Plan 9 From Outer Space"_

Freddie Benson woke up to what was the best day of his short life. Sure getting hit by a taco truck was a huge bummer, but everything that happened afterwards was fantastic. Carly now saw him in "_that way",_ and that kiss…wow…. what a kiss, he had been kissed before, there was Sam and Melanie(he still wasn't certain that she existed) but that kiss with Carly left him euphoric. He felt so good he didn't need his pain meds.

Carly sat in front of her mirror her head resting on her hands staring dreamily into space. She was remembering snippets of her dreams, Freddie the knight in shining armor fighting the dragon to save her, Freddie her Romeo serenading her in her balcony, Freddie her Lancelot and she was his Guinevere. No matter what he did in her dreams it couldn't compare what he had done for her, risking his life, saving her from certain death. There was one thing for certain she every time she ate a taco she would be thankful for her life, from now on ever day was a gift, and Freddie was the greatest gift of all.

Mrs. Benson barged into Freddie's room to see how he was doing. He quickly pulled his blanket around him.

"Mom please knock first, I was getting dressed."

"Oh Freddie its nothing I haven't saw before. I saw you naked on the day you were born, and a great many times after that, and beside I am a nurse I see naked people everyday".

"I am not a kid anymore; I would like a little privacy."

"Why, so you can do filthy disgusting things like I caught you and THAT girl doing last night. Oh Freddie you are so naïve, she was trying to take advantage of my precious innocent boy. It's because of her your broken!."

"Mom would you rather I would have let her get killed by that taco truck"?

"Of course not, you see Freddie if she had been raised right this whole thing would of never happened. Her dad gone all the time, and raised by her artist brother, I bet no one has ever cared enough about her to give her a tick bath."

Freddie just shook his head, his mother meant well but sometimes she bordered on the insane.

Carly gave Freddie a quick text.

"Hey sweetie how ya doing? I've been thinking about u."

Indeed she had been thinking about him, she was just realizing what a fantastic person he was, outside of Sam he was her best friend. Now she had a twinge of regret, she remembered all those times she had hurt him by going out with other guys, and how he had always been there when those other guys broke her heart. He was always there always ready to listen, never saying "_I told you so "_. The one thing that set Freddie apart was that he always put my needs first no matter how bad she hurt him. Well today that was going to end from this day forward she was going to make sure he knew how special he was to her.

She got a text back.

"Thinking about u 2_"_

She texted back "U R in my dreams ;-)"

"U R in mine 2 "

"Going 2 skool?"

"Yes"

"Need any help?"

"Meet me in 5 minutes"

"YES!"

The next five minutes felt more like five hours. Now it was her turn to peak out the peep hole waiting for him to come out. She hoped his mom would let her help him after all see did blame her for what happened, then freaked out when she caught them kissing. That was bad enough but being run out of Freddie's room by his mom beating her with his underwear, now that was just weird.

Freddie's mom barged into his room again "Freddie are you ready for school?"

"Mom I asked you to knock first"

"If you have nothing to hide you shouldn't be afraid of being caught at something. Do we need to have a little talk again on how to suppress those kinds of urges?"

"NO….for the love of Gosh…..NO! "

"Well then get your things we need to get going"

"I told Carly she could get a ride to school with us."

"Oh Freddie no, hasn't she done enough to you? You were such a nice boy before she started to blossom out, now she is using her feminine wiles to lead you astray."

"Mom I am going to need her help to get around school today."

"I will take some time off and come to school with you."

"Remember there is a restraining order against you from coming into Ridgeway."

"I still think mandatory tick baths were a good idea. Ok…she can come with us"

"Thanks mom"

Carly was at her station peering out the peephole of the door just waiting for Freddie to appear. Then she saw the knob turn, and in a flash she was out in the hall way.

Freddie came hobbling out on his crutches.

"Hey Freddie how's my number one man?"

"Doing great now that you're here."

Then Mrs. Benson came out, and gave Carly an icy stare.

"Good morning Carly" she said thru gritted teeth. "I hope you feel well especially your unbroken leg."

"MOM" said Freddie.

"It's okay" said Carly "All this is my fault, you are so my hero."

She reached up and touched his face.

Marissa immediately slapped her hand away. "He already has enough bad thoughts without you getting him all _twitterpated"_

Carly giggled under her breath "_twitterpated"_

The threesome got into the elevator to go down to the lobby. On the way down Carly and Freddie were looking at each other out of the corner of their eye. Carly winked at him and puckered her lips like she was giving him a kiss; Freddie smiled and did the same.

When they got to the lobby Mrs. Benson looked Carly in the eyes and gave her Freddie's backpack. "I will bring the car around to the front so my poor little Freddie bear won't have so far to walk. I want no funny business out of you Miss Sassy" and with that she tromped out of the building.

Carly dropped Freddie's backpack on the floor. She slid up to him "You look like you could use some help standing up, why don't you put your arms around me?"

"I am fine I have my crutches" then he looked into her beautiful big brown eyes then he realized what she wanted "oh….I do believe I need some help."

They entwined in an embrace, she caressed his face with her hand.

"Oh Freddie" she moaned then they passionately kissed.

Just like in the movies Carly did a "_foot pop"_ (and he would have done the same thing if his leg hadn't been in a cast).

When they broke for air, the both looked a little disorientated.

"How was that?" Carly asked.

All Freddie could say was "Flibble my giblets."

Carly just smiled "you know I don't think we did that quite right let's try it again"

They leaned in and embraced in another kiss, then they both felt something wet spray them.

"QUIT THAT, this is a family lobby" it was Lewbert spraying them with his squirt bottle.

"We weren't doing anything wrong, you got something against love?" said Carly

"Love?" thought Freddie "I like where this is going." He leaned in again to Kiss Carly.

Immediately Lewbert sprayed them again.

"Enough already, get a room or better yet get a new place to live!"

Freddie glared at the doorman "You're just jealous because you aren't getting any."

"Oh ho ho geek boy you would be surprised at what Lewbert is getting!"

"You couldn't get a starving dog to follow you home even if you had a pork chop hanging around your neck" Jeered Freddie.

"Blah blah blah blah" Lewbert responded. "I have more than a pork chop that's hanging."

"I will let you little fizzbags in on a little secret, I have had sex with every woman in this building but one…so there!"

Then he got on the elevator and winked at them "If you will excuse me I have some "_Plumbing to unclog"_

Carly and Freddie looked at each other, just the thought of it made them want to Ralph.

"Ewww" said Freddie "that is disgusting."

Marissa came running over to him "What's disgusting? Did she try something again?"

"No mom, it's Lewbert. He said he has had sex with every woman in this building but one."

"Hmmm" Marissa thought out loud "I bet it would be that stuck up Mrs. Smurtz in apartment 7-B"

**More A/N **Well wasn't that a long ways to go to get to the punch line. I hope you enjoyed it. I was thinking of making this more than a one shot so if anyone would like to see it continue let me know, and if you would be so kind would you leave a review.

Thanks

The Baron.

P.S If you don't know what Plan 9 from outer space is look it up, it is possibly the worst American movie ever made.


	2. Faux Paux

Hi readers, it looks like the Baron made a little Faux Paux. I called Sam's sister Melody instead of Melanie. I read thru the story 3 or 4 before I posted and still missed it. It looks like I need to get a proof reader.


	3. The night before

Well friends I had such a good time with this story I decided to extend it out a couple of more chapters. A big shout out to all who gave a review or put it on their favorite story list. This story takes place during iSaved your life. This chapter takes place the night before chapter one.

**A/N **I do not own iCarly or any of the intellectual properties of Dan Schneider. I do own the character Lisa from iFind Luv(now isn't that a shameless plug.)

* * *

><p>Sam was lying on her bed hands behind her head and her feet up on the headboard thinking.<p>

"This is an interesting turn of events" she thought "Carly has a thing for Freddie now." Her thoughts continued to wander.

"Carly and Freddie sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G first comes love than comes marriage then comes Carly with a baby carriage."

She bolted up in bed. "Whoa…the way things are going that has a chance of actually happening! If they get together where is that going to leave me?"

Sam was enjoying the status quo, her and Carly as best friends, the web show, all the food she could eat out of the Shays fridge, and then there was the dork. At first she didn't like him; he was always following Carly around like a puppy. If he had been a puppy she would have played fetch with him in heavy traffic and that would have been the end of that. She had come to tolerate him, and then she came to respect him (somewhat) after he had gotten rid of Missy sure he probably only did it because it was in Carlys best interest but still it had soften her view of him not enemies and not quite friend more like frienemies. Then there was the kiss, it was like the sugar on her cereal so sweet, and Carly owned that sugar bowl and now that she tasted from it she wouldn't be giving it up anytime soon.

Now it looked like Freddie was going to edge her out now who would she hang out with? Most of the girls in school were afraid of her. She could hang with Wendy, no that wouldn't work after about five minutes of listening to her prattle on with the gossip of the day she would probably pound her.

Maybe she should find a boyfriend of her own. With Carly out of the way it would give her a clear shot at Shane; hopefully he's gotten over that whole falling down the elevator shaft thing.

Her phoned chime out, Gibby had sent her a picture of his cat.

"Well" she mused "there is always Gibby."

Then she had a terrible thought "what if no one will go out with me and I end up with Gibby?"

Visions passed through her head of the things they would do together, bike riding him on the bike her in his sidecar, helping him make videos of his cat, then she pictured herself dancing around with him with their shirts off to the "_Benny Hill"_ theme.

"That is not going to happen to mama! I have got to get things back to the way they were."

Now she had to figure out how which would require work and hated work. But if she didn't do something there was the chance she would be dancing off into the sunset with Gibby.

Inspiration struck her! She grabbed her phone and called the one Puckett that wasn't afraid of work, her sister Melanie.

"Mel this is Sam."

"Sam who?"

"Sam…Your sister!"

"What's wrong…..is mom in jail again?"

"No" she swallowed her pride "I need your help."

"Just a minute I have to mark this date down on my calendar. My sister…..needs….my…help."

It took everything Sam had not to throw her phone against the wall.

"Forget it Mel I'll handle it myself."

"No…wait Sam I'm just yanking your chain. What's going on?"

"It's Carly and Freddie; I think they are becoming boyfriend and girlfriend."

Melanie let out a loud squeal "REALLY? That is soooo cool. They make such a cute couple."

"That is not sooooo cool!"

"Why not? There your best friends you should be happy for them."

"That's the problem sis, twos company threes a crowd….understand?"

"Oh I see, if there together you're afraid of getting tossed out like fat free fat cakes at the family reunion."

"Now you got the idea"

"How can I help?"

"I need to break them up and get things back to how they were, and make it look like I had nothing to do with it."

Melanie thought for a few minute, the silence was driving Sam crazy

"I have an idea."

"What is it?"

"Not so fast Sam, I need you to do a little something for me in return, Okay?"

"What do you want money, someone beaten up? What?

"The next time I'm home I want a date with Freddie. He is such a good kisser. Do we have a deal?"

"You got my word."

"Do you ankle shake on it?"

"Yes, now how can we make my problem go away?"

Melanie reminded her why she (that is Sam) went out with Eric (Noseby) Mosby. "Remember Sam you liked the getting the bacon, but you really didn't like him. Do you see where I am going with this? You convince Freddie the only reason Carly is going out with him is because he saved her life, tell he you're doing it because you're their friend and you don't want to see either of them hurt. Then being the good guy he is he will break it off with Carly. Bing bang boom things are back to normal, and I'm going out with Freddie."

"That's brilliant, I'll have no problem doing that Freddie is so gullible. Talk to you later Mel."

Sam hung up the phone. "Man" she thought "when did she get so devious? I'm going to keep an eye on her."

She lay back down on the bed. "Now that was a good night's work. Freddie will never know what hit him." She pulled the blankets around her and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I hope you enjoyed the chapter. You know the nice thing about fan fiction you can make the ending turn out exactly like you think it should be and I am going to take some poetic licence in the next chapter.

PS. If you are not familiar with Benny Hill check him out on u-tube. He was definitely one of the most funny men ever.


	4. Driving Miss Crazy

Greetings all it was a busy week for The Baron so this is going to be a short chapter. I would like to give a shout out to StrawberryAngel143 you are so very kind. I would of posted this sooner but there was a problem logging into my account.

**A/N I do not own iCarly no matter what my magic 8 ball says!**

In today's episode we pickup with Mrs. Benson driving Carly and Freddie to school:

The ride to school was extremely quiet as Mrs. Benson drove the kids to school Freddie kept glancing at his mother in unbelief. He knew that she and Lewbert had dated, but it beyond belief that they had done the horizontal mambo. Carly sat in the back seat trying to drive the thought of Mrs. Benson and Lewbert out of her mind; it was bad enough when she had spied those squirrels _wrestling but_ this was positively going to be giving her nightmares for weeks.

Mrs. Benson broke the silence "you children are being very quiet this morning. Would you mind if I turn on the radio?" She reached over and pushed the power button then the song "_Go all the way"_ came on.

Freddie immediately shut the radio off.

"Freddie! What's gotten into you? I like that song."

"MOM" he whined

"That was your father and mine song, in fact it was on the radio the first time we."

Freddie cut her off "TO MUCH INFORMATION!"

"If you would let me finish it was on the radio the first time we held hands. What did you think I meant?"

Freddie just blurted out "MOM….HOW COULD YOU EVER HAVE SEX WITH LEWBERT HE'S DISGUSTING!"

"Fredward Benson don't you take that tone with me, you are much too young to be talking about such things."

Carly let out a snicker.

"I heard that miss sassy pants if it wasn't for you my little Freddiekins wouldn't be broken, and now I see you polluted his soul. Who knows what kind of shenanigans you planted in his mind. He was as pure as the _driven snow_. I'm afraid I am going to have to have _"The Talk" _with him, and he's much too sweet and innocent to understand."

Freddie just hung his head; it was all Carly could do to keep from laughing.

Mrs. Benson continued "Don't think I forgot about you missy, who knows what kind of things you been exposed to living with that wild artist brother of yours. You know how bohemian those artists are. When I get home from work tonight I am coming over with my anatomically correct puppets and teach you the facts of life…..PROPERLY"

Carly almost went into a state of shock as she pictured Mrs. Benson acting out pornographic scenes with puppets.

Mrs. Benson pulled the car over. "Here you children go, have a good at school Freddie, and Carly I will be seeing you later" then she drove off.

Carly and Freddie looked at one another. "EWWWWWW" they both said simultaneously.

Freddie leaned in and kissed Carly, "I needed to do that; after my mom gives me "_The Talk" _I might not ever be able to touch a girl again."

Carly put her arms around Freddie "Ditto" she said then gave him a passionate kiss.

**MORE A/N:** I hope you enjoyed this, I think there will be one more chapter in this saga. I do have a special story coming out April 1st entitled _**iHad a secret**_


	5. It's nothing but a heartbreak

Greeting all here is the latest update. I am having such a good time with this story I decided to have one more chapter after this. I would like to give a special shout out to 143 I am glad you are enjoying the story you have been soooooooo kind.

**A/N **I do not own iCarly or any of it's characters but I do own the Universal classic monster movie collection.(and I think that is cool).

Sam's alarm went off; she reached over and backhanded it across the room. Today she did not want to be late for school. If her plan was going to work she would have to catch Freddie alone, and the way Carly was sticking to him that was going to be hard to do. She knew her big chance was during first period Carly had gym and Freddie helped out in the computer lab. Now she just hoped no one would see come to school early she did have a reputation to protect.

Sam made it to school in time to see Mrs. Benson dropping Freddie and Carly off; she quickly hid behind a bush so they wouldn't see her. As she was spying on them Gibby came up behind her.

"Hey" he said "I like hanging in the bushes too."

"Get away from you shirtless potato. There is no way I am going to dance shirtless with you to the Benny Hill theme!"

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard." Gibby replied. "You don't dance to the Benny Hill theme; you chase to it."

Sam picked up a dirt clod and chucked it at Gibby.

* * *

><p>When Carly and Freddie entered the school the response Freddie got was phenomenal. A crowd gathered around him hugging him, slapping him on the back he even got a few kisses (much to Carlys chagrin). This was a bit overwhelming. Just a few days ago no one would have paid any attention to him even if his hair was on fire. Now he was king of the school (at least for a while). He could hardly believe it when one of the most popular girls in school asked him out but what really feel good was Carly chased her off "<em>just protecting her man" <em>he thought.

The first bell rang and everyone started heading to class.

The hallway was clear except for Freddie and Carly "Now's the time to make my move" Sam thought.

"_Well good morning Mr. and Mrs. Benson" _Sam said.

"Sam" Carly said.

"Stop it Freddie added.

The second bell rang.

"Oh…second bell. See you after class" Carly said then kissed Freddie and ran off.

Now Sam put her plan into action.

"This is going to be soooo easy" she thought "Freddie has to be the most gullible nub on the face of the earth." She started her shtick about how he was "_just bacon"_ to Carly. When she finished Freddie looked so heartbroken, she almost felt sorry for the nub.

"Oh well at least he will find consolation in Melanie's arms. Now there's a match for you the nub and my poindexter sister." It gave Sam the shivers just thinking about it.

Sam gave her sister a text "pucker up sis he is all yours."

* * *

><p>After Sam's talk it bothered Freddie so much he had to call his mom to come and get him from school. He spent the rest of the day arguing with himself about what to do. Finally he accepted the fact he had to break it off with Carly, he loved her so much but he wanted her to love him and not love what he did for her. He would never do anything to hurt her no matter how much it hurt him. Now all he had to do was wait till she got home from school. He had no idea how she would take it, but it was all for her own good better to hurt her now than to have her end up resenting him the rest of their lives.<p>

He sent Carly a text message "text when u get home."

She text back "K"

The next few hours seemed to go by like days. Finally the text came "home"

He gathered up his new server he needed to put in and hobbled over to the Shay's apartment. Spencer answered the door.

"Hey Spence, I have some equipment for iCarly I need to install can I go up?"

"Sure I'll let Carly know you coming up."

As he rode up to the studio in the elevator his heart was in his throat. "You can do this" he reassured himself. The elevator doors opened and there she was playing "_Violin God" _she never looked so beautiful. Carly looked at him and light seemed to radiate from her face. All Carly saw was her prince charming, her knight in white armor, he could see the love in her eyes, and he wondered what would be in those eyes in a few minutes.

"Let's get this over with" he thought.

It went as good as it could be expected; Carly seemed to have taken it well, no crying, not throwing things. As he rode down on the elevator he screamed out "_WHAT HAVE I DONE"_ but in his heart he knew he did the right thing. He managed to hold it together till he got back to his room. He opened the door to his closet and stared at the poster of Carly he had hanging there "better to have a taste of heaven than never know it at all" he thought. He kissed his hand and put it on Carlys lips then the tears begin to flow down his face. He hobbled to his bed fell into it and buried his face in his pillow and sobbed.

Carly watched the elevator doors closed the smile on her face begin to quiver the sparkle left her eyes she felt numb all over. Was this karma coming back to bite her? She thought back to all times she had spurned Freddie's advances. She thought back to all those lost opportunities. She wondered if this was fate getting back at her for all those times she had broken Freddie's heart. Good old loyal Freddie, always wearing his heart on his sleeve, he was so right to question her love for him, what assurance did he have that she was really sincere, how could she blame him what was the longest relationship she had with a boy was it one week, maybe two weeks? He had told her after things had settled down and returned to normal he would be "_psyched"_ if they became a couple now she begin to question herself was she really that shallow that in a few days she would be after some other boy that would treat her like dirt, and try to take advantage of her? Freddie treated her better than he treated himself; he always treated her with honor and respect. Then she begin to wonder about Freddie, now he was a hero a lot of other girls were showing interest in him would he still be there would he still want to be her boyfriend? She slumped to the floor and drew her knees to her chest, buried her face in her hands and cried. When she had regained her composer she picked up her phone and dialed Sam.

"Sam I really need you can you come over Please?"

**MORE A/N **There you have it friends I hope you don't mind if took a little poetic licence here, there is one more chapter to go. How will it end? Tune in next week and find out.


	6. Gone a fishing

Greetings everyone. It has been a busy week here in Baron land so I am a little late in getting this out. I know I said that this was going to be the last chapter but there will be one more after this. Would anyone be interested in an alternate ending? Anyway a big thanks to all who have read, reviewed, or added this story to their favorites.

**A/N **I do not own iCarly but I do own the TV I watch it on.

* * *

><p>Sam was lying in her bed talking to her sister "you should have been there, that nub is soooo gullible, first he fell for clown day, then wear your bathing suit to school day, maybe I will make up <em>wear your mothers nightgown to school day.<em> Honestly Mel he believes anything you tell him."

"Tell me Sam how was he feeling; was he in need of some _comforting?"_

"Oh yeah, he took it so hard he had to have his mommy come and get him boo hoo. "

"Sweet do you think I should call him?"

"Don't be so quick to hop on the taco truck, give him some time. I should be hearing from Carly anytime now. When I hear from her then you can make your move."

Just then she saw on her phone Carly was calling "Gotta go Carlys calling you know what to do."

"Hey Carl's what's up?"

"Sam" she said sobbing "can you come over, I really need someone to talk to, can you come over….please?"

"Okay be there soon."

Sam rubbed her hands together "sweet" she thought "Now I wonder if I could get Carly to go out with that dufuss whose dad runs the meat market?"

* * *

><p>Freddie was lying on his bed staring into space; he had just probably thrown away his one chance to be with Carly. Oh well he knew he did the right thing, but it still brought him nothing but sadness. Why did he have to be so noble? He died inside every time he saw Carly go out with some loser who only had one thing on their mind. Carly never heard what the boys said about her in the locker room, she never knew that Griffin had a pool going on how long it would take him to get to <em>second base.<em> Sure he had _those kinds _of thoughts about her, and about most of the female population of Ridgeway. He respected her too much as a friend, and friends always looked out for one another. Even Sam was looking out for him, in her own strange way she cared. Tomorrow he would treat her to smoothies as a thank you, maybe he should call her. As if on cue his phone rang. He looked to see who was calling, it was Melanie.

"Hello" he answered feebly.

"Hello" a cheerful voice answered "This is Melanie."

"Uh…..hi."

"Hi Freddie, I just wanted to say how cool it is that you and Carly are going out you make a cute couple."

"Thanks Melanie, but…..um….er…..well we aren't going out anymore."

"Oh Freddie I'm so sorry I thought once you two finally got together it would be for life."

"Ah well I guess it just wasn't meant to be."

"Are you doing okay? You sound a bit down."

"I will make it through it, thanks for asking"

"Is there anything I can do for you? You are such a sweet guy any gal would be lucky to have a boyfriend like you."

"Thanks Mel that means a lot, it really does."

Now to set the hook Melanie thought "You know I will be back for a visit in a couple weeks, would you like to get together and do something?"

"I don't know, it's kinda soon."

"I understand, I mean we could go out just as friends to be honest with you I think sometimes Sam would rather have been an only child, I think she resents me, and mom is always gone chasing men. That's why I don't come home too often. You know it would mean a lot to me to have someone nice to hang with when I'm back."

"What about Carly?"

"She's Sam's best friend, and I would be like the third wheel. I like Carly and everything, but were not that close. She seems to be attracted to people who are a little abrasive and kinda treat her like dirt. "

Freddie thought to himself "boy have I been there."

Melanie continued on "So how about it? You would be doing me a favor really you would. To tell you a secret it I am so lonely when I come home, my sister is on the verge of hating me, and my mom has practically has abandoned me." There was a silence and Freddie thought he heard the sound of faint sobbing. "I'm sorry Freddie, I shouldn't of dumped that all on you, it's just you are so easy to talk to. I should just let you go now."

Now he was sure of it, he could hear her crying in the background.

"Wait Mel don't hang up, are you doing ok?

"TTThanks" she stuttered "It's just that I get so lonely I don't have hardly any friends here, and you know how my family is. You don't know what it's like all I want is a friend is that too much to ask? I don't know how much longer I can take it!" She just broke down weeping loudly.

"MEL it's going to be okay, I know exactly what you're talking about, I know what it's like for people to be mean and hurt you, I know what it's like to want to be friends and then be pushed away."

"You do?" Melanie asked. "I thought a good looking popular nice guy like you would have dozens of friends."

Freddie thought for a moment about the friends he did have. Most of them were social misfits, nice guys with a lot to offer, but no one really cared what they had to offer, they were just nerds, braniacs, someone others could pick on to make themselves feel superior. He thought about Sam how mean she was to him both physically and mentally and the more he thought about her the more he came to a realization that she really didn't care about him, she only wanted to spare Carly from getting hurt she really didn't give a rats patootie about him, and then he thought about Carly how she always seem to lead him on, then break his heart by going out with some jerk.

"Yes Mel I do. I may seem like a popular guy but I am so lonely and I am getting tired of chasing people trying to get them to be my friends, I am so tired of being used and abused. Mel we are defiantly getting together when you get back." Freddie felt like he had just met his soul mate.

"Really" she said with some disbelief "Don't say it if you don't mean it."

"I really mean it" Freddie said "I really want to hang out with you; I think we have so much in common. I am so sorry I thought you were Sam pranking me the last time you were back."

"See how mean my sister is we could have been close friends but Sam almost ruined it….just for a joke!"

"Yeah" he added "Her and Carly used reverse psychology on me, and it almost ruined our relationship! I am not going to let them take advantage of me anymore."

"Oh Freddie I feel like a huge weight was just taken off my shoulders. I am so glad I called you are a wonderful person, I wish I was there now."

"Me too, I'll be counting the hours."

"Listen Freddie I need to go now its curfew time here. Thanks for listening Freddie, and again I'm sorry you and Carly didn't work out, but it's her loss. The floor mother is making her rounds I gotta go call me…please!" Then she hung up.

She immediately text Sam "got him hook line and sinker"

Freddie lay back in his bed, "its funny how things work out" he thought. What started as the worst night of his life suddenly turned into something wonderful. Still he wondered how Carly was doing "she was probably with Sam right now telling her who she was going out with next. Man I have got to be the most gullible person in the know universe."

* * *

><p><strong>MORE AN **Now don't pretend you don't know how gullible guys can be at times when a girl (especially a pretty one) feeds them a line. Do not lose heart there is more to come.

The Baron


	7. Instant Karmas going to get you

Well here it is friends the end of the story I had a fun time writing this I hope you had a good time reading it. I would like to thank Missme02 and SuperShadowMario101 for their reviews.

**A/N **I do not own operate or maintain iCarly, but I was some what responsible for the care and feeding of my late pet hamster.

* * *

><p>After Sam had finished talking to her sister she headed over to Carlys. "Now for a little comfort" she thought "and tomorrow things will be getting back to normal.<p>

Sam walked into the Shays apartment. She had given up knocking a long time ago. Spencer had just given her a key because he finally accepted the fact that she could get in anytime she wanted, and it saved on replacing broken locks.

"Hey Spencer where's Carly?" she asked.

"Up in the studio. Is everything all right? You should of seen the look on Freddie's face when he left I think something happened between him and Carly."

"Yeah Carly called me I think her and Freddie broke up."

"OOO that's tough."

"I better head up" then she looked at the refrigerator "right after I get some ham."

Sam grabbed her ham and headed upstairs. "I better be careful what I say, Carly isn't as gullible as the nub" She thought.

When she entered the studio she found Carly with her face buried in the beanbag chair crying. Sam felt a twinge of regret, doing things to Freddie was one thing. Sure she kinda didn't really hate him after all he was good for lunch money, and he was just so much fun to jerk around. Carly was her best friend, always seeing the best in her even when no one else did or even cared.

She walked over to Carly and put her hand on shoulder "sup" she asked.

Carly turned over and looked up at Sam with red swollen eyes. "He broke up with me" she sobbed.

"I need to make this sound good" Sam thought.

With mock shock she said "What?"

"You heard me Sam he broke up with me. He said I was only attracted to him because he saved my life. He wanted to give it some time. He wanted me to wait, to see how I would feel when this whole _'hero' _thing wore off. Sam is this what I get for ignoring him for so long?"

Carly got up and flung her arms around Sam and buried her face on her shoulder and wept.

Sam reluctantly put her hand on the back of her head and patted her back with the other one. "There there" she said "The nubenstein is being an idiot." This made Carly cry harder.

"This is not going well" Sam thought.

She gently pushed Carly back held her by one shoulder and but her finger under Carlys chin and lifted her face up so she could see her.

"Carly I want to ask you something; do you think that just maybe you only liked Freddie because he saved you life?"

Carly pushed Sam away and shouted at her "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?"

"Welllll…it seemed up until the accident…..uh….how can I say this gently….you were just friends, then BAM you're a couple. Don't you think that is just a little fluky?"

"You don't understand, I have had feelings for Freddie for a while. The accident gave me the courage to express them."

This took Sam by surprise. "What do you mean?"

Carly got a faraway look in her eyes "I think it all started after the _Girls Choice _dance, you remember that don't you?"

Sam remembered well, first she had gotten what seemed like all the guys in Seattle wanting to take Carly to the dance, and the guy she chose wasn't exactly Prince Charming. She remembered going to Gibbys house to make him take her to the dance. Then it came back to her how she got turned down by Gibby of all people. Then she remembered how it blew her mind when she saw who Gibby was dating. It was bad enough getting blown off...by Gibby, but getting the door shut in her face was just plain humiliating. She remembered the long walk to the Groovy Smoothie, and the sight that greeted her when she got there. Carly and Freddie were dancing in a close embrace.

Carly continued on "I know you didn't make it to the dance, but trust me it was a disaster. After the dance we all went to the Groovy Smoothie. To make a long story short Freddie knew how bad the night had been so he had T-bo turn the music up and then asked me to dance. As we held each other it dawned on me how Freddie had always been there for me."

She looked at Sam and saw a shocked expression on her face. "You have always been there too Sam we are like sisters."

Sam felt a gnawing pain in her stomach, she knew it couldn't be anything she ate (she had laid off the Persians chocolates a long time ago). Could this be guilt?

"Oh Sam I am so afraid I've lost him." Carly started to cry again.

"Carls didn't you say he just wanted to give you some time? He will be there waiting for you."

"I don't know Sam, it's like I got this feeling like someone is going to snatch him away from me."

Just then Sam's phone rang, Melanie was calling her.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" Carly asked.

"Nah…it's just Mel she can leave a message. You're what's important now."

Carly gave Sam a hug "Oh Sam I just don't know what I would do without you."

"You would probably be making out with Freddie right now" Sam thought with regret.

"Look cupcake just call Freddie, I bet he will be over here in a second."

"Too soon Sam, all he will do is tell me to wait." Now it was Carlys phone that rang. "It's Freddie" she squealed. She answered it "Hey what's up?"

"Not much, I just called to see how you were doing."

"Well…I could be better."

"Listen Carly I know you are probably feeling down, I am too. But it's for the best. I just don't want to take advantage of you."

"You weren't Freddie trust me."

"We've gone over this already, what I wanted to tell you that I think it would be best if I got someone else to be your tech for a little while. I will still do the website and help with the videos for the show. I think it would better for all of us if we didn't see each other for a while, you know till this whole hero thing wears off."

"Okay" she said weakly.

"Okay" Freddie answered than hung up.

Carly started to cry again "He thinks it would be best if we didn't see each other for a while. If I didn't know better I think he found someone else."

Sam's phone chimed it was a text from Melanie "got him hook line and sinker ;-)"

Sam grimaced, she felt like she was going to puke. "This must be karma catching up with me" she thought.

"Carly…..I think I have something to tell you."

Carly looked puzzled. "What is it Sam?"

"I…I…I….kinda put Freddie up to it."

"WHAT" Carly shouted "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"

"Well you see" said Sam as she hung her head in shame "I was afraid if you and Freddie got together there would be no room for me. I was afraid I would lose my two best friends." She looked up at Carly with big sad eyes.

Carlys anger abated "Why would you ever think that? You will always be my friend."

"I thought the closer you two got I would eventually get squeezed out of the picture. I got the idea I would have to spend the rest of my life dancing shirtless with Gibby to the _Benny Hill_ theme."

Carly chuckled under her breath "Oh Sam that is so silly!"

"It is?"

"Yes, everyone knows you don't dance to the _Benny Hill_ theme you chase to it."

Sam asked "Are you mad at me?"

"Furious" Carly replied.

"Well I will make this right." Sam took out her phone and dialed it.

Carlys phone rang. She looked at Sam "why are you calling me?"

"Just stay on the line, listen, and don't say anything" with that Sam left.

She left the Shays apartment and headed across the hall. Freddie's door was locked, but locks never stopped Sam Puckett. It took her 15 seconds to pick the lock "HMM new record" she thought.

She slowly pushed the door open; Mrs. Benson wasn't home from work yet. Sam walked back to Freddie's room she thought about barging in and scaring him, but then she thought she didn't want to catch him in the middle of something so she knocked.

"Who is there" Freddie asked?

"It's Sam. I'm coming in so you better not be doing anything."

Sam walked in the room and plopped down on the end of Freddie's bed.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I want you to shut up and listen." She took a big breath of air "Listen nub I am only going to say this once. I set you up. I didn't want you and Carly to date. I was afraid I would lose my two best friends. Now if you had any sense you would get your geeky butt out of bed and hobbled over to Carly and throw yourself at her feet and kiss them, because for some unknown reason she really likes you. In fact she has liked you for a while and has been afraid to tell you. Probably because she was afraid you would do something stupid like this."

"You actually conciser me your best friend?"

"I told you to shut up and listen!"

"Oh sure" he said "I bet Carly put you up to this."

"Do you have crap for brains?" she reached out and rapped on his head. "Hello any one home? I am going to say it again slowly so you can understand '_CARLY….REALLY…LIKES….YOU'. _

Freddie looked at her with disbelief.

"Look dork I know about Melanie's phone call, that was just a set up too." Then she showed him Melanie's text.

"I don't believe it" he stammered. "I thought she actually liked me."

"She does. I asked her to help me out, and in return she wanted a date with you."

That bit of news left him speechless.

"Look Freddork Carly is across the hall in tears because she thinks she lost you, and it's all my fault. I am sorry"

"Wow I never thought I would see the day when _Princess Puckett_ would admit she was wrong, let alone sorry."

Sam glared at Freddie "don't push it unless you want your other appendages broken."

Freddie gulped. "Help me get up I need to go to Carly."

"No need to" came a voice from the door, it was Carly.

She came over and sat on the bed she ran her hand over Freddie's head then kissed him.

Sam sneered at them "well things are back to normal."

Then they heard a voice come from the doorway. "What is going on here?" It was Mrs. Benson. "Are you girls trying to corrupt my Freddiekins?" She grabbed a can of disinfectant off the dresser and started spraying the girls.

"You girls go wait in the living room I am getting my puppets someone has to teach you the facts of life.

* * *

><p><strong>MORE AN **There you have it Folks a happy ending, at least for Freddie . I want to give a big thanks to everyone who reviewed and followed the story. If you liked this you might want to check out my other stories. Remember to stay tuned April 1st for iHad a secret.


End file.
